Old shit that was in the drafts folder #2

People have a right to judge.

As long as they have seen everything, done everything, smelt everything, heard everything, though everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

I know my situation is nothing compared to those who have hard time trying to find food for the family. But about a week ago we were trying to find things that we could sell to Cash Converters just to get fuel in our cars. After dealing with the chest pains that gave me I became more aware of those how are actually facing financial hardship must feel. We see people wearing the cheapest clothes and shoes available and we call them poor or lazy. We judge. But we don't know what it's like to have no money. We don't full comprehend a situation unless we are experiencing it. I think a lot of the Human Race's ability to sympathise has been lost over recent years due to events such as 9/11 and all the bombings that followed, as well as the natural disasters the world is throwing at as at a rate of one per year.

Old shit that was in the drafts folder #1

So someone who uses the computer is AUTOMATICALLY over weight, pimple ridden and addicted to junk food? Fucking generalisations and stereotypes.

So a gamer has no friends, no life, no hope? (Although most gamers I've met are like that) That's not how it works.

So someone who doesn't share the same opinion with you on one topic makes them the complete opposite of you?

I hate the way people feel compelled to put people into category boxes. And what for? So they can retrieve them at a later date, perfectly preserved?

I also hate the way people force their opinion on you when you don't want it. You don't have to read someone's blog, you don't have to read someone's facebook. But when they're on the phone to you or in your face they think you want to hear what they think of everything.

I don't fucking care. If I value your opinion I will seek it. If I don't, I'd much rather you shut up.

Urges.

Sometimes I get really worried that I'm going to do something stupid and won't be able to control myself. Like I have this massive urge to swap my brisbane soundwave ticket for one in melbourne. For no reason at all. And I can't trust myself that I won't do it. It happens with driving, I have to focus really hard to not drive into a barricade on a bridge sometimes because I have the urge to hit it and see if my car will go over the edge.

Strange urges that frighten me and I don't know where they're coming from.

She still floats.

I get upset and scared by some of the things I read on Tumblr. Most of the people I follow post typical Tumblr things but there's a few that I wish would talk to me. I don't know them, their story and they don't know me. But there are people out there that need someone and it fucking makes me sick that their friends and family have deserted them and they've resorted to finding solace in an online community.

Everyone on Tumblr says they're there for each other and I don't understand, if there are billions of users, why the world isn't as giving and thoughtful as Tumblr leads me to believe. Maybe we're so focused on segregating different parts of our lives that the people we communicate with on the Internet are completely separate to those we see everyday. Ultimately the Internet is anonymous and you don't know who you're talking to.

I just get really sad and worried about the youth that is out there, right now thinking about killing themselves. I keep thinking that I could have saved them. Maybe if they talking to me or if I reached out to them I could have saved them. I could have prolonged their life just a little and made it better. I want so bad to affect someones life in a positive way because I believe I've only really effected people negatively. I want someone to know that there is a person out there waiting to hear from them, waiting to know that they're alive and kicking. I want someone to find colour again. Put a smile on some one's face.

I need to be involved with the youth of Australia some how and I think volunteering with lifeline is a start. I want to start a fucking revolution, I want to change my town, my state, my country.

I want this place to be a place where people want to live, not die.

It appears I'm only writing to one person on here. I don't know who you are. Do you have any requests? Would you like to know my opinion on something?

Right now I'm battling some kind of battle between wanting to be healthy and wanting to eat everything until I vomit. And out of no where a voice tells me I shouldn't eat at all.

The fucking weather is shit and I feel like this. Yesterday was sunny and beautiful and I was motivated, excited about my progress. Now, I look outside and all I want to do is cry and sleep and drink tea and alcohol. I need to leave this climate. I need the police force to work out for me. Just this one thing I can't let myself fuck up.

Sorry for disappointing you.

Superiority complex?

I'm anonymous on Tumblr, I just reblog, it's just a past time for me. The people on there are... just like me. It's astounding how much I think, where are these people in real life?! Why don't I have friends like this? But when I read this, I felt like it was written about me. For me. I have an issue with thinking that I'm better than anyone else. I went and saw a counsellor and he said that I'm very intelligent. It fuelled the fire and then he turned around and told me I was no different. I wasn't as unique as I thought I was. Not as special as I want to be. This post on tumblr was like hearing that again. If I don't have superiority I don't have anything. I think it has something to do with being an eldest child. There's a lot of studies about it. Maybe that's part of the reason that I want to join the police force. Any career that I choose I would aim to be the boss of everyone. The one that everyone seeks help from. Of course, I've never had arguments on Tumblr or ever even said the C-word. I can't even type it. But I do get frustrated when people use poor grammar, don't make sense, fail to see logic. I find it difficult to be around someone who is so content with being... stupid. Not because of a disability but because they didn't feel that they needed education, they didn't NEED to learn how to spell correctly. It shits me that there are still people that don't appreciate the free (to a degree) education we're offered. Some people just don't have the desire to learn, I know that.
I wish everything was different.
I also hate being patronised. I can guarantee that I know more than most people over 25 in Melton. People don't know as much as you think they do.


...There I go again.