Rant.

Every decision I've made in my life feels like it's been pressured. I felt pressured to take QCE subjects at school, I felt pressured to go to uni and now I'm under time pressure to chose what I want to do with my life.

The Police Force don't want me so I now have to look in another direction. Something that's falling into my lap is Personal Training. I don't know if I'm capable of it but it's literally my only option at the moment. I don't know whether the decision to do it is from my own personal wants and needs or from what I feel I should be doing. I'm trying to hard to impress my family and make them see that I'm worth it and I just don't get the feeling they give two fucks what I do with my life.

I'm scared and I've turned into a massive procrastinator because I just want to sit here with my beer and my timtams and relax. :(

In other news I am fucking sick of people again. I remember why I hated them so fiercely last time. Everything is coming flooding back. Christmas brings out the best in most people and the worst in everyone else. There are that select few who turn into complete and utter arse holes come the season of joy. They believe they deserve much more than they're given and will abuse anyone in their way to get what they want. Being behind a register means I'm abused ruthlessly. I'm looked down upon; just a RETAIL WORKER. Let me tell you, I've tried and tried to get out of retail but no one is hiring. Not even retailers are hiring anymore! If I had it my way I wouldn't have to clean up after the fuck ups of society and their snotty nosed children. I wouldn't have to deal with people patronising me as if I'm the one who doesn't know anything. Most of the people I deal with at work are so fucking dumb they wouldn't know their left foot from their right foot. No word of a lie. The accuse me of stealing or trying to 'rip them off'. Which is impossible at the reject shop because you try and haggle the already reduced prices, you're ripping us off.

And another thing that really gets me going is people that spill things and don't let anyone know or don't offer to clean it up. They'll just leave the drink on the floor. Don't want that donut? Kick it under the shelves. It's not that I care about the shop it's that most of the hours in my day are spent there and I'm sick to fucking death of having to clean up after disgusting pigs that are unable to walk to the bin located directly outside of out doors. I am not a cleaner, I am a sales assistant. I help put stock out and sell it. I shouldn't have to tidy the store up when you can't refrain your child from picking up every noise making thing in the shop and putting it somewhere else. Just fuck you all.

I've been drained of all my anger tonight. I'm sorry.